Rays of delight podcast

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Gym Junkies

I've been putting on weight again via the pushing of heavy weights, round about 2kg in a month. I might get that down again. I've done a straw poll of my female friends and their abhorrence of muscle-bound numpties has made me realise that isn 't the way to go.

Not that I'm one of them, but I am a gym junkie, and you have to careful not to get too obsessed. One minute you're spending half an hour light exercise on a variety of machines; next you're injecting steroids into your groin, walking round like 'The Terminator' with your eyeballs popping out and making horrible grunting noises while pressing massive big feck-off barbells.

It's not a good look. Luckily I'm tall, over six foot, so I don't have to over-compensate like some of those wee men in the gym.

There's one tiny fella, under 5 ft, who comes in. He spends all his time arranging business deals via a Bluetooth headset he shouts into while straining at the weights. He's got a beer belly and biceps as big as his head. He should have taken part in the dwarf games. I'm guessing he's in the UDA.

The smaller the man, the bigger the muscles. It's a sweeping generalisation but I stand by it.

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