Monday, July 20, 2009

Swine Flu Helpline

Our work has announced we've won the Swine Flu Helpline contract. 2,000 new jobs with 200 of them on our site.

My firm pays minimum wage to part-time single mums; callow youths who failed their GCSEs and are planning their escape; over-educated layabouts like me too uncoordinated to get a real job; uni students on holiday; builders and joiners affected by the economic downturn. All lovely people, of course, but some of them couldn't spell influenza let alone tell you what it is.

Every other week there are mass sackings as bored and listless workers take too much time off on the sick, turn up late or just hang up on customers. And then a new set of drones is wheeled in through the door. It's a people factory.

Today I watched two of my colleagues take a discarded top off a food package and skim it back and fro like a Frisbee. For 8 and a half hours. Including while they were on the phone talking to customers. At times it distracted me from my involved reading of 'The Human Stain' by friend Roth.

This is who will advising you about swine flu, scaredy cats. The government knows you are stupid, and is treating like children. It's all you deserve, anyway.

God only knows what the training will be like.

I discovered that my boss keeps a daily formula which works out how much £££ I earn the company per day. They take the electricity I consume, and amount of time I spend idle, the time spent talking, spent shitting and pissing and doing feck all, minus my wages, and feed it into a computer. I earn the company about £25 a day. That's a bit more than what I earn. My company is French owned. Le plaisir est tout l'à moi, actionnaires français.

My boss told me I used to display negative body language towards him, but now I don't. Good news.

1 comment:

Wandering Photographer said...

Were the single mums at your employers working part-time, or were they part-time mothers?