Monday, June 14, 2010

Thoughts on the World Cup

I have been watching this Fabio Capello dance on the sidelines. His constant instruction seems to be 'push up, push up, get close.' He's happy to concede possession and then win the ball back, and pump it long to Emile Heskey, the Velcro-like, non-scoring striker. Heskey then lays it off in the hope that Gerrard or Rooney or very rarely Lampard will run through and score. I've also heard that Capello spends ages and ages working on set pieces.

So. England have spent £6 million pounds a year on Jack Charlton circa 1988-1994.

The difference being, Jack's players loved and respected him.

Capello's fear and respect him.

And Jack had Niall Quinn, Tony Casc and Ray Houghton. Capello has Heskey, Rooney, Crouch and Gerrard. Yet, who is the better coach? Only one way to find out! Biff him, Jack.

It's easier to persuade with love rather than fear. If players are frightened of the boss, they get all sweaty and make silly errors. Like Rob Green.

Just before he let in the goal, Green punted the ball to a USA player. He was probably thinking, 'Oh Lordy, I hope Capello doesn't single that out on the DVD review on Tuesday.' And that's why he wasn't concentrating on the save.

Anyway, how many people live in England? 55 millions? Can they not find someone who can cross the ball? Watching Aaron Lennon try to deliver a cross is more painful and tortuous than watching Our Lord Jesus deliver his up to Calvary in that famous mockumentary by Melvin Gibson.

Now, I tuned into Radio 5 live on Saturday night. There was one and a half hours of 606 and then three and a half hours of Stephen Nolan. All devoted to the topic of whether we should be nice to Robert Green or not. Us 'Celtic' nations often say we'd dread an English victory because we'd never hear the end of it. Well, a one-all draw is bad enough. Just get over it! Do you think Radios Ulster, Wales or Scotland would clear five and half hours of schedule to talk nonsense about a goalkeeper?

And when they weren't talking about poor old Rob Green, the BBC gave a platform to the sort of loonies who frequent the very darkest corners of the internet. Fools who suggest that Rooney should be dropped for Defoe, that Walcott would win the World Cup on his own, that England should play 3-3-4 or that Capello should be sacked and replaced by H out of Steps. Listening to it was a kind of glorious torture.

Anyway,

Here are my current Dearest of World Cup Teams:

1.) South Africa - for turning things round after early nerves and scoring a fabulous goal.
2.) South Korea - for allying hard work to creativity and putting the horrible plodders Greece to the sword
3.) England - just because of all my dear English friends, yeah?
4.) Germany - Ok it was only Australia. But aren't they great around the box?
5.) Ghana - for making everyone's 'Dark Horses,' Serbia, look like a big load of oversized white donkeys.

Onwards!

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