Why bother?

I was sitting at the bar in Jenny Watts the other week and ordered a Belfast Ale.

It came to over three pounds. Hmmph. Harummph.

As I was on my own and there was another bloke sitting about four feet to my left, I thought I would engage in what is known as 'banter.'

"I never thought I'd see the day when a pint cost over three quid"

He looks at me blankly.

"Wha?" he says

"I bet you thought you'd never live to see the day when a pint cost over three pounds," I repeat helpfully.

He says "I'm sorry I don't understand you." He gets up out of his seat. He comes over. He puts his face close to mine.

"I said I bet you'd never thought you'd see the day when a pint cost over three quid. It's hyperinflation. Nothing else has increased in price so much, eh?"

He looks at me blankly.

Now, earlier I heard him talking to other people in the bar, and to the barstaff. He had normal conversations with them. He had a local accent. He is not elderly. Why is he being like this?

I continue, "When I started drinking a pint was barely a quid. Now it's three quid. It's a big increase, no?"

He looks vacant."I'm sorry," he says, shaking his head. "I don't understand you."

He goes back to his seat, and starts talking to another man about how he doesn't understand me.


Lord Jebus, why have you forsaken me? I'm going to sew my mouth up with catgut and go and live in a remote cave.