Sunday, December 21, 2008

HOW I WILL SPEND CHRISTMAS DAY


Put on 17th Quaker costume, load musket

Kill a magpie, hang it from tree

Chop down hawthorn tree, burnt it

Crawl through a ditch and slither in mud

Take magpie from tree

Go home, roast magpie, with stones

Throw in bin

Ring every taxi firm, no answer, cycle into town

Break into Woolworths, take 4 good sweets from pick and mix

Knock on random doors begging for wishbone & sprouts

Go to town hall, wank in letterbox

kill another magpie, while cycling, with good shot from musket

Cycle home

Wax moustache

Watch queen's speech on youtube, fall in love with her all over again, write usual erotic fantasy involving me and the queen in purple ink, sign and seal

Think very hard about Jesus, wish him bon anniversaire, apologise to him for that cross business

Start preparing for next years Christmas

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